Tag Archives: wise words

How Travel Affects Whether We Wear Lipstick to the Bus Stop

life, perspective, relationships, travel, Wise Words, ,

You read the “Why I’m Not A Dirty Mom” blog post, right? If some way, somehow, you missed it, well, there’s the link. In it, the writer explains why she prefers to look her best, whether she’s headed out for dinner or driving to the pre-school drop off line.

I watched the ensuing uproar with a touch of amusement. Must we always argue, ladies? If a girl likes to wear lipstick to the grocery store, I say let her wear lipstick. If another prefers yoga pants and a baseball cap, more power to her. One doesn’t diminish the other.

If you see me out and about I’ll be wearing high heels, flip flops, tennis shoes, leather boots, dark jeans, khaki capris, dresses (holla, Athleta), yoga pants, black pants, and who knows what else depending on the day. I have kids. I work. I like yoga. I play basketball. I have girlfriends I MUST meet for lunch. I don’t make the same effort every day. And this doesn’t bother me one bit.

My hair and clothes don’t define me.

And what does all of this have to do with travel, the theme I’m writing about this month? I’m glad you asked!

Here’s the quote for this week:

“When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” – William Least Heat-Moon (pen name of William Lewis Trogdon)

Stop and let that sink in.

“You are what you are right there and then.”

Fantastic. And I love this part:

“No yesterdays on the road.”

When we’re in a new place, with new people, they have no idea what we wore last week. They don’t know if we’re kind or cruel or a little loopy, either. There’s a weird kind of beauty in the not knowing, I think. Travel gives us space, a freedom to be our truest self.

I would argue, though, that the purpose of finding this self when we travel is to bring her home with us, to continue to pursue, and fully define, our own sense of self. Our values. Our important things. Instead of worrying about whether we “should” wear lipstick to the bus stop, we need to figure out if we want to wear lipstick to the bus stop. That, my friends, is the key. And it’s harder than it sounds.

But when we answer to our truest self, we’ll be one step closer to making decisions that are right for us. And one big step away from worrying about what anyone else thinks. Maybe it’s time to book a flight.

Have you experienced this kind of freedom when you’ve traveled? Leave your thoughts in the comments, or link up if you’d like to write your own post on these Wise Words.

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Living With Intention

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It started when my son began Kindergarten.

“Just wait,” people said. “Wait until he gets to high school. You won’t believe how fast the time flies.”

“Enjoy them,” said the older ladies in the supermarket, as my toddler screamed and wiggled in the seat strap and my baby struggled to be seen in the cart, nestled between the Cheerios and peanut butter.

And they were right, of course. The time is flying.

But it’s not just our offspring’s childhood that can slip by, suddenly gone, without us comprehending where it went or how that happened or savoring the difficult moments along with the lovely, sunnier ones.

It’s friendships.

And meaningful work.

It’s faith.

And marriage.

Emerson said it this way in his essay, Prudence.

“Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live.”

What a terrible truth.

We hear it often, don’t we, that we must live in the moment? So often, we roll our eyes at this advice and wonder how on earth we can live with intention and focus on the Important Things when we have diapers to change and groceries to purchase and laundry to wash.

And the truth is, the wonderful truth, that we can’t do it all. We can drop that notion as quickly as we picked it up. We can work. We can mother. We can be wives. We can do the Important Things but we must take one simple and critical step first:

We must identify what is truly important to us.

And your Important Things won’t be the same as my Important Things.

When we know what’s most Important to us, it’s much easier to choose. It’s easier to let the laundry go for a day, or skip a soccer game for a much-needed laugh with 4 of the funniest friend a girl could ask for.

What’s worth Living with Intention to you?

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4 Tips for Traveling with Children

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Have you flown with your children? Driven 12 hours packed into a car between blankies and luggage and snacks? Have you slept in a small hotel room, with a toddler wedged in-between you and your spouse, and a baby sleeping (or not) in the crib a few inches away?

I have. And I laughed out loud when I read these Wise Words from humorist Robert Benchley:

“In America, there are two classes of travel:

First class, and with children.”

I’ve travelled with my kids an awful lot. In their short lives, they’ve been to 17 states and 5 other countries. We’ve driven long hours, flown long flights, rented houses, and seen world history come alive. We’ve hiked, lounged, and hit the sights. Sharing my love for travel with my children is one of the great joys in my life, but Benchley’s right: it’s not first class.

If you’re planning a trip with kids–and you haven’t travelled with them often–here are 4 things I’ve discovered that you might find helpful:

More space is better. For all of you. If you’re travelling with your spouse, or a girlfriend, all you need is a small suitcase and a bed to sleep in. But travelling with kids quadruples (at least) your luggage as well as the noise and messiness factors. If you’re taking a short trip, you can survive in one hotel room; if you can get a 2BR hotel suite, better yet. But if you’re taking off for a week or more, consider renting a house or apartment. True, you won’t have room service or a maid (although some properties do offer this feature), but you’ll have rooms galore. And sanity. It’s a good trade.

You won’t see everything, but you’ll see something you didn’t expect. When you travel with kids, you absolutely must shorten your sightseeing list. Sort the places you’d like to see into three categories: Must See; Really Hope to See; and This Would Be Nice to See. Plan your days around the Must-Sees, and if you end up with extra time, and a Hope-to-See or Nice-to-See is nearby, you’ll have a pleasant surprise. You’ll also be surprised at what you see that’s not on your list. Kids get hungry, have to go the bathroom, and need a mental break in the most unexpected places. Tending to their needs often means leaving the beaten track, which can lead you to the best, quiet park bench or most lovely, memorable restaurant that you never planned on seeing.

It’s a time warp. Nothing, and I mean nothing, takes the proper amount of time. Travel time, meals, waiting in line, finding a sight—add in extra time for all of it. If Google Maps tells you it’s a 5-hour drive, plan on 6 ½, especially if your kids are small. Even if your kids are older, I’d still plan on close to 6. If you arrive earlier, it’s a bonus, and either way you avoid starting off your trip feeling like “Hurry, hurry, we’re getting there late!”

Take a break.  Part of the fun of vacation is that you’re out of your regular routine. And part of the difficulty of vacation is that you’re out of your regular routine! Small kids will need a nap, and bigger kids and grown-ups can benefit from some Quiet Time. During this time our kids can read, draw, or play with stickers—any quiet, solitary activity that doesn’t involve electronics is permitted. My husband and I usually read or nap, depending on that day’s adventures. If you’re taking a longer trip (1 week or more), I’d suggest building an entire day of downtime into your schedule. This doesn’t mean you have to sit home and read all day, but it’s a chance to stroll around the town and explore your surroundings without an agenda, without somewhere you have to be at a certain time. Everyone benefits from a little break, whether it’s 30-minutes of reading or a day of aimless ambling.

Do you have a different take on Benchley’s quote or another tip you’ve learned from traveling with kids? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments. If you want to write your own post, and link up, here are the Wise Words details.

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