One of the very first blogs that I liked, that I read regularly, was Chris’ Notes from the Trenches. She was homeschooling her brood at the time, lived in a different state, and kept me laughing and nodding my head with every single post.
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| photo credit: danorth1 |
Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I have some strong feelings on kids and media–I’ve even published a book about it. As a mom, I worry about sexting, put iTunes songs through a lyrics check, and think that a group of kids hanging out together ought to put their phones away and hang out with each other, for goodness sakes.
What’s all that have to do with Chris from Notes from the Trenches? She also happens to write for alphamom, and recent wrote this post about teens and dating. If you’re the parent of a teenage boy, you’ve got to pop over and read it. Although her son’s experience may be a bit extreme, this is the kind of stuff that goes on. For real. I found myself nodding in agreement more often that I’d like to admit.
If you have a teenage daughter, as several of my close friends do, fair warning: Chris’ post is about her son’s aggressive girlfriend. And I will say right here and now that my friends’ daughters are not a part of this crazy club. They are so far from this kind of aggressive–any kind of aggressive, even–that they’re in an entirely different class of kid.
So it’s not that all girls are aggressive. It’s that the ones who are, really are.
As grown-up girls ourselves, I think most moms would agree that this has been true of boys through the ages. Would you agree? I certainly knew non-aggressive boys who were perfectly nice dates and others with whom I wouldn’t have wanted to be alone in a dark room on any day of the year.
So why all the thoughts about girls? I think it’s because this kind of forwardness, this really aggressive behavior is newer for girls. I’m not sure exactly what the impetus is–maybe it’s easier to be aggressive via texting or email, maybe girls are more assertive earlier (a good thing) and are confused about how assertiveness and sexuality co-exist peacefully; maybe “love” seems more real, sooner, because kids don’t connect by passing notes in class, but by texting and Facebooking each other endlessly.
Regardless of why, and regardless of whether we’re parents of boys or girls, we’re all parents. And every parent I know is trying their best to raise kids who are kind and thoughtful and decent. None of us want our sons or daughters to be overly aggressive dates or spouses. So, I point you to Chris’ post in order to get you thinking, right along with me.
