Category Archives: Parenting

Winning Isn’t Everything, But It’s Winning

I have a confession to make.  I really like to win.  Uh huh.  It’s true.  I have grown and travelled and learned many things, but I have still not learned that winning doesn’t matter.  I know it’s not everything.  I understand that no one wins all of the time.  I’m just admitting that I prefer to end up on the winning side more often than not.
As a basketball coach of young kids, however, I have to put winning aside for a bit.  First, the kids have to learn how to play.  We have to focus on the basics.  How hard can it be, right?
It’s hard.
You know the problem with coaching 10-year olds?  They have never seen Michael Jordan play.  Fo’ real.  And there is a chance that a few really neglected ones don’t even know who he is.  I know, right?
So, I’m trying. I’m trying my very best to teach the boys some basketball.  We are working on some fundamentals, like dribbling without looking at the ball, and boxing out, which for those of you who don’t know anything about basketball most of you, means keeping the other team from getting the ball after someone shoots.
These things don’t seem that hard to teach.  I mean, those guys on TV do it all the time.  But man, they are.  Hard to teach, that is. 
Boys.  Funny thing is, I wasn’t one, so I’m not always sure where they’re coming from.  For example, if my coach said, “Do not shoot 3-point shots,” I would not shoot 3-point shots.  Seems fairly simple.  But these boys, they learn so early that shooting those shots from far away is cool.  Even if you only make one shot out of like, one thousand, that one shot was cool, man.  That one shot that keeps ‘em coming back for more, even when the coach is pulling her hair out on the sidelines and begging them to pass the ball.  PASS THE BALL.
But I love it when it works.  When they drive the baseline or make the assist or fast break for a great lay-up.
My son took this photo of his brother (who’s on the team I coach).  That kid playing defense totally went for the fake, didn’t he?  And, wow, that boy can jump!

I think my favorite basketball to watch, though, is still the little kids.  These kids think it’s just fine to dribble with two hands, pick the ball up, and then dribble again.  And in their League, it is.  They’re just having fun, playing ball, and smiling.
Also, they love the dog pile.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my big kid is playing, too.  But you can see it in their faces:  Forget the dog pile.  These boys are like me.  They really want to win.


If Your Child Has an iPod, Read This: You Spin Me Right Round Baby

Remember this tune?

Here are a few of the lyrics from the Dead or Alive version:


“You spin me right round, baby
Right round, like a record, baby
Right round round round…”


You know you’re humming along.  Admit it.  You are, aren’t you?

Have you heard the refrain on the new version by Flo Rida?  When I first heard my son and his middle school friends singing the chorus, just the “You spin me right round baby right round,” part, I thought, “Oh, look, everything really does come back.”

And then my girlfriend asked me if I knew Flo Rida had changed the lyrics.  Huh?

Ah, yes, why would Flo Rida touch a song that wasn’t about oral sex?  Here, his chorus:



“You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down
You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down…”


Better yet, he pays her:


“From the top of the pole I watch her go down
She got me throwin my money around
Ain’t nothin more beautiful to be found
It’s goin down down…”


There are so many things going on here that I don’t know where to start and if I climb up on this high horse I may never come back down.  So here’s what I have to say in as few words as possible:

  • If your child has an iPod, it would behoove you to know what’s on it.
  • If your child doesn’t want you to touch his or her iPod, you better start listening.
  • Women are degraded endlessly in an incredible number of currently popular songs.
  • Sex, oral sex, paying for sex, doing drugs, selling drugs, stealing and general depravity seem to be the main themes.
  • I don’t care if they “just like the tune.”  It’s the old “junk in,” “junk out” philosophy.
  • I know you don’t have time for this.  I don’t either.  But making time is probably a great option for both of us.
  • This is not harmless; if it’s on their iPod it’s playing over and over in their head a bazillion times a day (yep, that’s a scientific number).
  • Google the title, artist and lyrics if you want to know more.
  • Hang tough.  You’re the parent. 

And you know, back in the day, Madonna was considered racy.

The Thing I Forgot

Yesterday, I was so productive.

By 7:30AM I already had a load of clothes in the washing machine and, I am mildly ashamed to admit this, but that is a good feeling around here.  I’m up!  Stuff is getting done! It’s nearly miraculous.

I had a full morning planned and was on time (close enough) for everything.  And I remembered everything.  Good times.

Lunch with friends was the most important agenda item of the day, and I was (almost) on time for that, too.  Perfect.

Did I mention the sun was shining?

After lunch, I did some quick calculations and determined I could squeeze in a couple of errands before heading to the bus stop.

I dropped off my Costco haul at home and even had time to grab a Diet Pepsi before I headed back out. As I got in the car to drive to the bus stop–a 4-5 minute drive–I realized that I was supposed to pick up the kids at school today.  20 minutes ago.  And it’s about a 12 minute drive.

And that, my friends, is why children have cell phones.