Category Archives: food

What’s Really in the Food We Eat?

February 28, 2009foodKirsetin

So you guys know that I like Diet Pepsi, even though I think Michael Pollan is right on the money. You know that vegetables are my least favorite food group, even though I know they should be first. You know that I think a lot about ways to help my kids have a healthy relationship with food.

But what you don’t know is that my friend, Janet, knows the exact calorie and fat count of every food ever produced. Okay, that might be a teensy, beensy bit of exaggeration, but if I’m not sure about something food-related, she’s on my speed dial. (Also for any fashion questions, but that’s a post for another time.)

So when Janet said she learned stuff she didn’t know when she read Eat This, Not That, I couldn’t believe it! She learned stuff? I knew I had to get my hands on that book. What could it possible contain that she didn’t know? So I popped on over to the library and took a look. And chock-full of information, it is. I must admit that there are some interesting tidbits, like the fact that one Original Glazed doughnut from Krispy Kreme has less fat (11 grams) and less calories (190) than one Wild Blueberry muffin by Otis Spunkmeyer (22 grams, 420 calories). Who knew?!

All in all, I’m not a big fan of the book but I can certainly see the appeal. It’s a very practical guide for middle-of-the-store grocery shoppers. But most weeks I try to avoid both Krispy Kreme and Otis Spunkmeyer—those are some fat grams I’d rather save for a rainy day.

By far, the grossest part of the book was page 6, which took me right back to high school English class, the one where we read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle. Perhaps I’m naïve, but I left all of those disgusting thoughts about food processing back in the 80’s and I was very disturbed to find them resurrected by the little chart called “The Wrong Kind of Protein; The little ‘bonus’ ingredients the FDA allows in your food.” Here’s a sample:

“Canned tomatoes: Can contain up to 5 fly eggs or 2 maggots per 500 grams.”

Maggots? Do I really need to say more?

“Peanut Butter: Can contain up to 30 insect framents or 1 rodent hair per 100 grams.”

30 insect fragments??

“Popcorn: Can contain up to 1 rodent pellet in one sample or 2 rodent hairs per pound.”

A rodent pellet? IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS??

Alright, Mr. President. As long as you’re overhauling everything else, what about the FDA? As if the peanut recall weren’t bad enough, now I have to worry about rat crap in my popcorn? Puh-lease!

This is the best argument ever for participating in CSAs and buying local. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to enjoy canned tomatoes again. Uggh. Please, please don’t tell me what you know about Diet Pepsi. Let a girl enjoy her vice in ignorance, would you?

Enjoy the weekend everybody. And for goodness sakes, be wary of your popcorn!

photo credits: asplosh

How to Make a Kid’s Pirate Ship Cake

January 28, 2009birthday cakes, birthdays, foodKirsetin

Apparently, baking a cake is some kind of parenting novelty these days. I guess getting a big, tasty cake from Costco does have certain advantages! But I thank all of you who sent me kind e-mails complementing my very amateur cake decorating efforts. If you’re going to throw a kids’ pirate birthday party, you definitely need a cake.

So, how do you make a kids’ pirate ship cake?

Here’s what you need:

Cake
Icing
Very thin dowels rods or straws
Pepperidge Farms pirouette cookies
Malted milk balls
Rolos individually wrapped with gold wrapper
Root beer barrels (candy) or Lego-type barrels
Pirate guy
Long wooden skewers
Construction paper
Mini-flags (either Playmobile-type or made w/ toothpicks and paper)

Getting started:

Start with the cake part, of course! Bake 2 round pans, from scratch or Betty Crocker, whichever you prefer. Oh, you thought Betty Crocker was scratch? Close enough—that works. Just bake 2 round cakes and let them cool. I think I used 9-inch pans.

The ship:

Cut each cake in half. Slice a sliver off of the rounded bottom of each piece to make a more sturdy ship bottom. With the rounded sides all facing the same direction, stack them together with a thin layer of icing between each piece. Now stand the cake halves on their rounded ends, all 4 pieces together. You can hold them together with icing (and who doesn’t like more icing?), but unless your icing is extremely glue-like, you’re going to need a little more help. I’d either use a couple of very thin dowel rods (you can get them at Michaels) or a couple of straws to hold them together.

The masts:

Use chocolate icing, either homemade or from a can—you know who you are!—to thoroughly cover the cake halves. Drag a toothpick or knife around the edges to make lines in the side of the ship. Whew, that’s hard work. Take a break now, and put your cake in the fridge for an hour or so to let the icing set.

When you’re rested up, get busy on the sails. Just cut some out of construction paper and slide them onto the skewers. Voila, you’ve got masts! I made two and placed them side by side.

The rest:

Decorating the deck is really personal preference. I put the pirouette cookies around the edges for a railing. Then, I used malted milk balls for the cannon balls and Rolos in their gold wrappers for stacked gold. We had some Playmobil pirate guys and flags, so I finished it off with those. You could make the flags with paper and toothpicks though, similar to the masts.

The candles:

Be careful not to torch the place with the masts! I stuck the candles into extra (unwrapped) Rolos and put them on the side of the cake. But I still stood nearby, just in case.

Ahoy, Matey. Have fun!

Please note: I got this Pirate Cake idea from Family Fun Magazine, which has lots of great party ideas. As you can clearly see, however, the above photo is from my son’s birthday party. This cake was cute, but not nearly as picture perfect as the one in the magazine!

Butter or Margarine?

December 18, 2008christmas, food, NY TimesKirsetin

All those many years ago when I first met my girlfriend Janet, she was already a bona fide baker. I was still more of a baker-in-the-making. These days, I bake a mean apple pie, but back then I was still one of those people who used margarine in my cookies. Not to worry. Janet set me straight on the finer points of using butter and, not wanting to produce inferior cookies, I ponied up the cash and starting baking with the real stuff.

Fast forward almost ten years and I read Michael Pollen’s In Defense of Food, which convinced me, thoroughly, of the horrors of margarine. Although I’m generally not one to hop on anybody’s bandwagon, his arguments rang true to me and I jumped aboard. While I admit to still buying diet pepsi (I know!), and the occasional goldfish, it’s more because 1) I’m weak and 2) I’m weak. I still think he’s right.

So yesterday, when I read Julia Moskin’s column in the NY Times, singing the praises of butter in cookies, I expected some sort of nod to Pollen. But no. The article is clearly a baking aficionado’s perspective; not even close to a health nut’s reasoning. It’s all about how your cookies won’t hold their shape if you dare use margarine, or even, heaven forbid, if you use butter that’s been incorrectly melted or creamed. As if! Please know that if you ever deign to eat my cookies, I have probably melted the butter incorrectly. There’s also a really good chance I didn’t cream it long enough, either. However, you can still consider yourself lucky that you’re only getting fatter because I used butter and not dying because I used margarine. I mean, that’s a pretty big gift right there. Please don’t expect the shape of my cookies to be just so or to receive them in a fancy bag with a ribbon on top. I am busy people. I could be handing out Oreos (speaking of non-food).

Nonetheless, I laughed out loud at the comment of Robin Olsen, who runs cookie-exchange.com and is quoted at the end of Moskin’s piece. Olsen’s thoughts: “I can tell a margarine cookie as soon as I bite into it. And then I put it right down.”

Well just tell it like it is, Ms. Olsen! I love that. But I won’t send you any cookies. Too risky.

As for the rest of you, I hope you enjoy whatever it is you’re baking this Christmas!