Category Archives: books

Should Kids Read Twilight? Just Not in the Dark!

November 14, 2008booksKirsetin

When my son was in the first grade, he was already an avid reader. He was zooming through the Magic Tree House series, and the A to Z Mysteries, and loving every minute of it. Because he was an early reader, we were very aware that there were books he could read, that perhaps he shouldn’t, yet.

Around that time, one of our local bookstores refused to carry the Harry Potter series on the grounds that wizardly is evil. I hadn’t read a single one, and knew magic was involved, but I didn’t know much else. I did know that before long my little boy would be asking about those books. I also knew this was a judgment my husband and I would have to make for ourselves, as I certainly wasn’t going to ban a book for my child based on someone else’s review. So I hit the library and checked out the one that started it all, The Sorcerer’s Stone.

Not only did I flip through those pages as fast as I could, I found the story quite endearing. Contrary to what I’d heard, I saw good triumph over evil, children making tough, but wise, choices, and strength of character rarely explored in newer children’s literature. I was in. Both of my older boys now own the complete set. Alas, we went the more inexpensive route and purchased them in paperback, not knowing that these treasures would be read and re-read a million times. Most of the books are now broken half or thirds, and it’s still not unusual to find one of the boys perusing a tattered, partial copy. It’s high time to invest in the hardcovers, I know. Perhaps for Christmas…

Although there are plenty of witches and wizards in Harry Potter, there are no vampires. But the hot new Stephenie Meyer series aimed at tweens and teens has one front and center. If you’ve somehow missed this news (where are you living?), the series begins with the book Twilight. The story centers on a 17-year old girl, Bella who falls madly in love with the amazingly beautiful Edward Cullens. Naturally, he’s a vampire. Naturally.

Does the whole vampire thing bother me? A little, perhaps a bit more than a little, if I’m honest with myself. But what bothers me more is the sensuality, the underpinning of desire that’s the bedrock of Bella and Edward’s relationship. No, they don’t have sex. (At least not yet, anyway.) But they sure do want to. And for grown-ups who enjoy this kind of book, I say knock yourselves out. Read away. But for 12- and 13- and 14-year olds who are just on the cusp of discovering attraction for the opposite sex, I think this series has the potential to glamorize what is essential hormones and lust.

The Center for Youth/Parent Undertanding posted a link to this thoughtful and prescient article, by Jonathan McKee and David R. Smith. In it, the authors made several points that bear repeating:

“…our chief concern gravitated more toward Bella’s emotional vulnerability and the graphic sensuality described in the romantic scenes between she and Edward.”

“Today’s young girls will most definitely identify with Bella’s concern for self image and consistent need for validation. In the books Bella is portrayed as very plain. Most girls can relate to this. Seven in ten girls feel they do not measure up in some way, including their looks and in relationships.”

Although I’m not raising girls, I’m raising the boys that three of them will marry. I’m extremely cognizant of the message about girls portrayed in books and movies and these arguments give me reason for pause. However, I like the conclusion these authors draw even more. Rather than reviewing the book and suggesting parents stick their heads in the sand, or draw the proverbial line, they have a better idea: if you feel like your kids can handle it, and they’re interested, see the movie with them. Or, if the book is what your kids are after, and you approve it, read it too. Knowledge has long been a powerful tool, and being able to discuss the heavier parts of the story with your child give you an opportunity you might otherwise miss.

So approve away if you like, just do it with your eyes wide open, not in the dark.

A Girl’s Gotta Have…

September 20, 2008blog blast, books, family, mediaKirsetin

When I read David McCullough’s John Adams a few years ago, I felt immeasurably inadequate to the likes of Abigail Adams. If reading big old biographies isn’t your thing, HBO has done a fine job of producing the DVD mini-series, which I highly recommend. Whenever I think I’ve had a bad week, all I have to do is remember Abigail Adams.

Her husband’s business travel made most of ours—except for military spouses—pale by comparison. She worked the fields, raised her children, stood for independence and lived without any of the things we take for granted: heat in our bedrooms, washing machines in our laundry rooms, ovens in our kitchen, vaccinations for our children, and Starbucks on every corner. Ah, the ways the world has changed.

If you jump forward a few generations, my grandmother had heat and some vaccinations for her kids. But in her early years of raising four children she didn’t have a washer or dryer. And when she passed away a few years ago she still didn’t have a dishwasher.

My grandfather was a wonderful man, but certainly a man of his generation. Child care, cooking, and cleaning were all my grandmother’s responsibility. Her four children were born in five and a half years. Cloth diapers, nighttime duty, and all of the rest were solely up to her.

By the time her children grew up, of course, the world had begun to change. As young adults, her kids enjoyed many of the same the conveniences we still take for granted. My parents, aunts, and uncles all had dishwashers and by the time I was in high school, most of them had microwaves, too. Several of the women in my family had jobs outside of the home and some, some I say, of the dads chipped in a bit more around the house. Things were looking up.

But, ladies, we’ve got it made. Our kids don’t die of smallpox, we can throw a load of clothes in the washer—and it gets clean while we do something else. Not only can we brew a hot cup of java in our own kitchen, we can pop out to the nearest coffee shop if we need a change of a pace. Most of us have two cars, we have TVs and computers, and we can even bring the movies to our own big screens if we want.

When I think about the things I wouldn’t want to trade, my very rational self has two very different responses. The first screams for the practical: I want vaccines for my children. Heat. Indoor plumbing for our family of five. A stove and oven and refrigerator. And I don’t even want to consider life without a washing machine.

But there’s the just-for-the-pleasure-of-it side, too. My iPhone, for one. L-O-V-E it. Can’t say enough good things about why I never want to give it back. A nice cold diet pepsi, which may yet kill me, but sure does hit the spot during a stressful day. How about the incredible, wonderful convenience of hitting a little button to unlock your car door? See, friends, I am just old (and frugal) enough that when I had my first baby, in the frozen tundra, I still had to unlock with a key. I lived through it and have appreciated that little button ever since. And pay at the pump? Beautiful. Abigail Adams wouldn’t believe it.

What about you? Is there a modern convenience you can’t live without?

Join the Blog Blast at Parent Bloggers Network and let us know. This week’s contest is sponsored by Yoplait Kids, which my boys wouldn’t like to live without!

Too Much Tube?

July 29, 2008books, media, ParentingKirsetin

Kids and TV—and the negative relationship—is in the news again, and I’m not surprised. Evidence has long shown that a TV show here and there is no big deal, but turn the bugger on regularly and you’re asking for trouble.

What surprises me is that, as a society, we have not just ignored this mountain of evidence, but that we regularly walk our children to the top of the mountain and plunk them down in front of Sponge Bob for yet another hour. I know, I know, you love Sponge Bob, right? I know lots of parents who do. So watch it. Let your kids watch it from time to time. But every day? They’ve got better things to do, trust me.

The latest research shows that when the TV is on and kids are playing nearby, not engaged with it, not watching it, mind you, that the background noise influences the length and depth of their play. Parenting is hard work and we all know it. I’m not suggesting that kids should never chill out with a fun show while we grab a breath in the next room. Every parent needs a break from time to time. But the research is out there: TV isn’t the devil, but it’s not the answer to our prayers, either.

To read more about what I think, click here for info on my book, I Want to Teach My Child About Media.