Category Archives: blog blast

4 Simple Ways to Say I Love You

February 7, 2009activities for kids, blog blast, family, marriage, mother's dayKirsetin

Showing love comes easier for some than others, wouldn’t you agree? If you’re one of those people who are all hugs and kisses and moonbeams, it’s probably easy-peasy for you. But for the rest of us, those who are still wondering what moonbeams are and how to find them, it can be a bit more difficult. Our culture doesn’t encourage showing love as much as it encourages lust. Don’t believe me? Take another look at those Super Bowl commercials. Funny, yes. But if we want to help our kids demonstrate love, we’re on our own.

Here are a few things our family does to share the love:

The Video/DVD: I’ve received these for various occasions, including Mother’s Day and my birthday. The one I received for Mother’s Day remains one of my favorite gifts of all time. My husband and the boys created a Top Ten Things We Love About Mom video, which, as you can imagine, brought tears to my eyes. And as much as I enjoyed watching my precious boys act out the things they loved about me, I understood that this was also an act of love from my husband. You can’t have a better Mother’s Day than that.

The Scrapbook: If you’re the type that faithfully records your family events in a scrapbook or album, or if you worship at the alter of Creative Memories, you get this one immediately. Putting together a small scrapbook to celebrate an occasion, a special year, or a trip together is a great way to demonstrate love. What if you don’t have a crafty bone in your body? Not to worry. Simply upload your photos to a site like Blurb. Slide and drop the pictures onto pre-formatted pages, and they’ll print a lovely hardcover scrapbook for you. You’ll never even have to go near a Michaels.

The One-on-One Date: When my third son was born, I realized that time alone with each boy was a valuable commodity. To make sure life didn’t pass us by, we scheduled monthly “dates.” These dates don’t have to be expensive or complicated. Sometimes we take a board game to the café in Barnes and Noble, buy some treats, and play for an hour or so. Other days we ride bikes around the lake. Occasionally we go out to dinner, just the two of us. I remember one meal in particular, a dinner at a Chinese restaurant with my oldest son. As I sat there, enjoying the conversation and watching him order General Tso Chicken, I could see him growing up before my eyes. It’s one of those moments that’s burned into my being. Sometimes we have to step out of the ordinary routine to really experience our kids and love them where they are.

The Take-A-Break Gift: Let’s face it. While we all love our families dearly, there are times when we need a break. We need an hour, a day, a weekend, some tiny bit of time all to ourselves so we can regroup and recharge. I have one friend who’s really good at this. The rest of us fail regularly. Spouses who understand that a little time alone is good for the soul are worth their weight in gold. One of the biggest investments we can make in our spouse’s well being is to help him (or for him to help us), take this time. (Yep, I’m working this angle for a weekend away. Of course I am!)

The thing about love is that the old adage is true: Actions do speak louder than words. It’s so nice to be told, “I love you,” but so much more powerful when it’s accompanied by action.

This post was written for Parent Blogger’s Network’s blog blast. They’re collaborating this week with LIFE, a non-profit Life and Health Insurance Foundation for Education. Check here for other great posts about love.

photo credits:Joe Shlabotnik, petit hiboux, donger, superash, fresh head films, and BeccaG

What I Want My Son to Know

January 26, 2009balance, blog blast, nostalgia, ParentingKirsetin

Before I had you, my life centered around me. Time was a commodity and I spent it doing things I enjoyed: working at a great job, eating at fun restaurants, and reading good books.

When you were born, the center shifted and it was dramatic. As I held you, my first tiny baby, in my arms, I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a parent. I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of the road ahead. Instead of seeing the world through the lens of my own wants and needs, my peripheral vision intensified. I was suddenly and deeply aware of how my choices would affect you – you as a baby, as a boy, as a man.

I was overwhelmed, too, by the less significant things: the laundry—which seemed to triple with the addition of one tiny little being; the food—scheduling, and preparing, and feeding; the sleep-deprivation—enough said! Little did I know that your schedule had only begun to affect mine.

Fast forward:

3 boys, 3 schools, 3 book fairs (fall and spring), 3 parent-teacher conferences (fall and spring), 3 PTO meetings (every other month), roller skating parties, birthday parties, soccer practice, games, tournaments, football practice and games, basketball practice and games, yoga, Pilates, updating the scrapbook and the list goes on. The laundry and grocery still need my attention. Writing and speaking take time; lots of it. And don’t forget the fun stuff: foosball, darts, Barnes and Noble visits, dinners out, dinners at home, Yahtzee, dates with dad, and time with my friends.Here’s the thing, sweetheart: there isn’t enough time to do it all, and there isn’t enough time not to do it all. Before I blink you’ll be living in a dorm. You’ll get a job and you’ll marry a wife. You’ll have kids of your own and then, slowly, you’ll begin to understand all of this in a way that you just can’t until that day comes.And I will have time to spare.

So until that day, I balance these things the best I can. On good weeks, I plan ahead. I know on Monday what’s for dinner on Friday, even if the plan is eating out. I have a load of laundry in before you go to school and you get it folded before you head out to practice. The other weeks, I wing it and it’s not always pretty. But either way, we eat together, we play together, and we enjoy time together as a family. These are the moments of balance. The rest is just life, flying by, whizzing more quickly than I could’ve ever believed. I wouldn’t miss participating in it for the world.

Love,
Mom

This week’s blog blast is about motherhood and balance (or the lack thereof). This post about was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA.

And A Tidy New Year: Cleaning Up After Christmas

January 11, 2009blog blast, organizingKirsetin

In the early years of our marriage, we had a conversation that went something like this:

Spouse #1: Honey, why do you always put your work clothes on that chair in our room? It’s only few more steps to the hamper. Can’t you get them to the hamper?

Spouse #2: Ummmm, ummmmm, I don’t know, I guess so.

This conversation isn’t unusual, I know. It plays out all over the world on a weekly basis. The twist here is that I’m the guilty party. My husband, the neat freak, is Spouse #1. It’s sad, but true. I’m the one who leaves socks on the bedroom floor, stacks piles of papers on her desk, and has to try really, really hard to remember to make the bed. (I’m usually the last one out.)

So you can imagine that if left to my own devices we might put the ornaments away around the 4^th of July, along with the plastic Easter eggs. Naturally, since I am married to a neat freak, this isn’t how it happens.

This year—as you may remember—we drove long and far to visit our families for the holidays. We left our house in the wee hours of December 26, which means that we left a decorated tree and all of the Christmas loot at home, along with a few cookies on the counter for a science experiment. We’re always thinking about our kids’ educations, you know? When we returned from our lengthy trip with bags full of dirty laundry and a trunk full of new toys, the only thing I really wanted was a long, hot shower. Alas, it wasn’t to be. My neat and tidy husband had other ideas.

“Let’s get everything into the house,” he said, “and then get the ornaments and decorations put away, so we can take down the tree.”

“Huh?” I said, startled by his ambition. “Huh,” I repeated, still thinking “hot shower, hot shower, hot shower.”

And so we begin. And most years, even if we stay home, it’s the same. Choose the day and get it done: Ornaments off the tree and into the big box. Lights down, wrapped around some wire thing my husband rigged up to keep them neat, and into the light box. Tree out the door to the park that recycles them (this is his job). Decorations off of the mantle and into the decoration boxes (this is mine). And on it goes. While the decoration day is a festive affair with music and snacks and holiday joy, the take-it-all-down day is just business. Get it done.

And I must admit that I’m glad my husband is wired this way. Because, in the end, I love being neat and tidy, too. I just wouldn’t get there by myself.

This post was written for Parent Blogger Network‘s blog blast. They recommend checking out SC Johnson’s Right@Home Website, for lots of helpful home care articles. For a chance to win a $250 Visa gift card, join the blog blast–the deadline is tonight. See the rules, here.