There’s a sports training program in our town, which costs a pretty penny, that promises state of the art training techniques to improve your child’s athletic performance.  When I first heard about it, I pondered the advantages that money can provide for kids whose families have not only the means, but the desire to spend it.  I went and watched as kids, ages 12 – 17, sprinted and pushed-up and twisted with a medicine ball.  It surprised me to see that a lot of the drills and exercises they do are ones my coaches had us do in practices a hundred years ago.  They’re solid workouts–no complaints on that front.  But in addition to wondering if this type of program is the best use of parents’ money and kids’ time, I was also surprised by this one little fact:   They take kids as young as 7.

I thought that was a little young, so imagine my surprise when I read this article in the New York Times: Sports Training Has Begun for Babies and Toddlers.  The program it describes offers DVDs of exercises for kids beginning at 6 months of age.   Apparently the active little tykes will have a leg up on the competitive 5-year old soccer fields.

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know that I like sports. I think kids can learn some great lessons on the athletic field or court, whether it’s about teamwork, perseverance, or interpersonal relationships (difficult coach or player, anyone?).  But I’ve also written about my concern that kids are pushed too hard, and that they don’t have enough downtime.

And in a related topic–the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children don’t even watch TV until they’re 2!

As a former athlete and still-active adult, it seems that as a group, we (parents) have let sports programming get out of hand.  I think it’s imperative that as parents we ask ourselves:  Why do I allow (or want) my child to be involved in this sport.  Is it because your child has expressed an interest?  Is it because you want to keep her moving, that you value physical exercise?  Is it because you think there are peripheral benefits (teamwork, etc) they can derive from participation?

Or is it something else?  Do you have a tiny little guy that’s going to play football whether he likes it or not?

For most parents I know, starting kids in sports is well-intentioned.  Their friends are playing!  It’s good for them!  Fun, and running, and snacks!  But along the way, if your child keeps playing, something else creeps in.  Your kid shows promise.  So does the Jones’ kid, and he’s enrolling in the expensive sports training class.  And so it starts:  Should Johnny be in the expensive sports training class, too?  Should he play up a year?  Switch leagues?  Where are the best coaches?  What about college opportunities?

And for a huge percentage of us, this is when we can know we’re on a slippery slope.  Because now we’re not focusing on the benefits of athletics for our child.  We may not even be focusing on our child–who she is, what she wants, how she’s wired.  Instead, we’re pushing our own agenda, maybe our own dreams, and all the time our children’s very fragile egos are being shaped by our words and deeds.  Ouch!  Do you know that only 3% of boy and 3.3% of girl high school basketball players go on to play NCAA college basketball?  Or that for baseball it’s 6.1% and football it’s 5.7%?

Playing sports at the collegiate level will be a life experience for only a few of our kids.  For those almost-grown up boys and girls, college will look quite different from their school-sports free friends.  Training is an intense monopolizer of time for college athletes.  Often it defines their social life as well as their free time.  For kids who still love to play sports, not playing on an NCAA team doesn’t mean the end of the sport for them.  Almost every school offers some type of intramural program that will allow them to continue playing the game they love, with other kids who’ve played for years, too.

Sports are a wonderful outlet for our kids and I hope that as parents we’ll foster their interests, encourage them and provide them with opportunities to participate when it’s appropriate.  But I also hope we can keep our parenting lens on–rather than our hyper-competitive, what are the Jones’ doing lens–when we’re making decisions about how early and how hard to push them.  Kids need to be kids.  Play-doh and Legos and Capture the Flag are important parts of childhood.  (Remember, I have all boys!)  So is boredom, a point I will argue with anyone who’s interested.  I firmly believe that if we constantly entertain our kids we do them a serious disservice.  I am continually amazed by the ways in which kids create fun for themselves when left to their own devices for a bit.

So kick a ball, shoot some hoops, grab a bat but please, please make sure they have some crayons and a blank piece of paper to draw their own dreams.  And give them plenty of time to do it.