A friend of mine with younger children asked me about potty training the other day.  When should they start?  Her little boy wasn’t interested.  She’d heard she should put Cheerios in the potty and that grossed her out.  (Me too, come to think of it.)  And she was a bit anxious, stressed out, worried about asking, as if  I would judge the whole of her parenting by the fact that her toddler’s still in diapers.

He’s a toddler.  You’re fine!  He’s fine! 

But “don’t worry about it” isn’t very welcome parenting advice.  When people ask you a question, they want an answer, not some wishy-washy “when they’re ready” kind of response, right?

But because I really do think they have to be ready, I asked Barbie what she did with her kids.  And she asked a bunch of others.  So now, my friend can have my namby-pamby advice, and get some real answers from other moms.  Here’s what we all had to say:

I waited until my kids were 3 and we went cold turkey.  No pull-ups, just brand-new fun big boy underwear.  It was totally fine – only took a couple of days.  One of the boys wet the bed off & on for a couple of months, but that wasn’t as big of a hassle as I thought it would be.  The others basically trained themselves – Chase just started taking his diaper off & using the potty at 2 ½ so he was a littler earlier but only because he did it on his own.  Kids don’t know any different:  if you tell them that 3-year olds go on the potty, they generally do!  (Kirsetin)

With Brooke, I read potty-training books and watched “once upon a potty” to begin the process.  Then, I bought a gumball machine, and gave her pennies when she would use the potty.  We learned how to chew it for a little bit and then spit it out (rather than swallowing it) at a young age. I was an overly anxious parent at that point and began the process at age 2, and it took about 6 months to a year before she was totally trained.

With Sam, we waited until he was three, and then gave him cool superhero underwear, and he was trained in a day.  It was extra easy because it was spring time, and he loved to pee outside.  Since we live in the woods, it wasn’t a big deal.  We only had one incident where he decided to pee outdoors at a friends house, because he thought it was just fine… I mean, I’d been clapping for him when he went outside at home!  We just needed to fill him in on the privacy issue, and then he was good to go!

With Janie, I did absolutely nothing.  She wanted to be like Brooke and Sam, so she trained herself.  We did clap when she would sit on the potty, but that’s it!  As a matter of fact, with her, I kinda preferred the pull-ups, because I despised using public restrooms when we were out and about.  🙂  That’s pretty bad…. I did buy a set of plastic mattress covers for each of them, just so a nighttime accident wasn’t a big deal. (Barbie)

We are in the midst of potty training boot camp this week.  Anne is a prime example of a child who would not consider it until she was darn good and ready.  Finally, last week, she said she wanted to wear her Dora panties.  My strategies are:  a fun sticker chart, Skittles (I could NOT go with M&M’s b/c I’m in love with them), and strictly big girl underpants.  I told her all of the diapers in her size are gone.  We’re staying home all week (God help me), and so far she’s doing really well.  I’m no expert, as this is my first time through it and Anne is 3.  (Sara)

Hi- I don’t think you want my advice because I bribed with candy!  Worked like a charm.  (Michelle)

Nor do you want my advice.  My child begs to go potty on the toilet and I tell her to just go in her diaper. Awful.  (Although, she mostly wants to go ‘potty’ so she has a chance at running around naked…her favorite thing to do) (Brenda)

Don’t force the issue until they are ready…I learned that lesson! (Veronica)

I don’t think I have any GREAT ideas, however, one thing that I did was consistently put them on the potty every 15 minutes the first day for a while until they went on it and figured it out.  Sometimes we’d sit and read books while they were on it until they went. (Jodi)

Both of my kids did potty train really early, but I think it was them and not me.  I did start having them sit on the potty at bath-time early on  ( 14 to 18 months) and when they got consistent, we did the two days of naked with the potty in the family room.

Aiden was done at 20 months and Katie just before she turned two. I wasn’t quite ready when Katie was ready.  Of course we made a big deal about buying big boy and girl panties and just went for it, not turning back once we started. (Laura)

If you read through these and think we’re all nuts, check out this article by Barbara Howard, M.D., a pediatrician and behavior and development expert at Duke Children’s Hospital.  She has good advice—and she’s a doctor!—including waiting until your child is ready (didn’t I say that?) and looking for signs of readiness.

Good luck.  Let us know if you’ve discovered what really works.

-Kirsetin