As I’ve been thinking about writing this blog, I’ve come to the realization that I do so at great risk.  Once I climb up on the very high-horse of correct grammar usage, it will be quite easy for you to knock me off.  I fear that you will read my posts, watching—waiting, even—for the day you can catch me in some horrific error of my own. And I’m sure you will.  Not only is it likely that I will make some sort of grammatical error, but I can practically guarantee you that I’ll misspell words or make typos.  (This happens quite frequently, in fact, when midnight has come and gone and I am still typing.)  Even so, I will admit that I’m a bit of a stickler for details and if I’m uncertain about something, I do my best to look it up.   Why wouldn’t I?  My friend Google can usually give me the answer faster than I can type my next sentence.  And therein lies my gripe:  these days, it’s just not that hard to use grammar correctly.

Now, please understand that in my day-to-day life I’m not on the hunt for grammatical errors; I am not a card-carrying member of the Grammar Police.  If my friend, Sharee’, sends me an e-mail to see if I’m available for lunch, I do not expect grammatical perfection.  I realize that this is not a professional document that Sharee’ has toiled over, edited and checked for mistakes.  In fact, I don’t even care.  I’m just glad someone wants to meet me for lunch.  Or, when my friend Debbie sends me a text to see if my plane ever landed, I assume that she is typing quickly, on tiny keys, and I certainly expect abbreviations and typos galore.  I hope she expects the same from me.  Texting requires a lot of grace in the world of grammar.

However, when I am at a school function, or receive communications from my child’s school, I do, indeed, expect to see the proper use of the English language. 

Example #1:  Apostrophes

This is basic stuff, guys.  If you’re not sure where it goes, it’s not very difficult to find out.  So if you are a mega-volunteer for your child’s school, and you are making signs for people to carry in their school parade, please check your apostrophe use.  No one wants to see their principal carrying a sign that says:

Meadow Brooks Teacher’s Are The Best Ever!

Clearly, the best teachers ever would stay awake nights if their students made this sign.  I can only imagine what they think when the parents make it.  I can tell you what I think, but it wouldn’t be very nice.

Example #2:  Vocabulary

Way back in my 10^th grade English class, Mrs. Bixiones taught us that it was best to use a simple word whenever we could.  At the time, many of us were desperately trying to work perspicacious into every essay, when shrewd or astute would have worked just fine.  I do love words and am delighted when people who are clearly smarter than I am use unconventional words in just the right context.  But I am equally dismayed to see the following in a letter from my child’s middle school:

Your child is part of a unique group compiled of children who have

read over one million words so far this school year.

Comprised, people, you meant comprised.  But that’s still not the correct use of the word, and educators ought to know it.  They’d be right if they told us “This group comprises children who have read over one million words so far this school year,” but they are not even close.

Just to clarify, for anyone who missed it the first time around, this kind of thing does not bother me in day-to-day life, e-mail, texting, or even on blogs.  (Okay, sometimes it does bother me, but it’s not really justified.)  But when school is involved—the very people I’m counting on to teach these nuances to my children—it drives me a little nuts.

And for anyone who’s interested, click here, and here to see two great classics on grammar.  If you’re seeing signs and letters like the ones above, you may want to buy one for your child.

-Kirsetin